[s72] mental link.

[whereabout]

you care for people so much it breaks your heart...and you're lying to yourself about it.	however much you may model your behavior after a normal, decent person, you are no such thing.
you have no place in the lives of normal people.	you aren't a broken wreck. that's how i see it, and i know i'm right.

( CODE BY WHAMBAM )

Comments

hyrypia, 037

[raw]

( Hey. )

[ Bakugo is like an inferno down the line right now, furious and grieving over the newly discovered dead girl, and even if Elliot thinks he might be able to act as a fire blanket, he's seen what effect it had on Hadrian, wants to check in on Joshua too. So there's a sense of that along with the generic query: ]

( You okay? )

[whereabout]

( Yeah. )

[ It's an automatic response, too ingrained for him not to give - sure, he's fine, everything's cool - but even as he thinks it, he knows that it's obvious as hell that it isn't really true.

This whole mental/emotional connection is hell on his ability to lie and pretend nothing's up.

He's made himself scarce since the murder was discovered, precisely because he should be fine. He's spent enough of his life rubbing shoulders with death, and he's seen plenty of people dead who didn't deserve it. It doesn't mess with him, even when it should (because he's too screwed up to qualify as a decent person, what else is new). This really shouldn't be any different, and he knows exactly what he'd expect from himself at a time like this - a flicker of detached, abstract sadness and a gnawing sense of disgust that it ought to be more than that.

Not this fiery sense of rage, not this frighteningly deep and powerful grief. And where the discovery brought Bakugo out, drew him straight towards the center of the action, Joshua's pulling back, trying to keep himself away from everything that's going on, as if hiding from the action will be enough to help him hide from the feelings rippling through the nest.

(It's definitely not.) ]

[raw]

[ Elliot gets that though, he really does. If his connection to Hadrian and the activation of his power hadn't pulled him right into the center of the emotional maelstrom, he'd probably be doing the same thing. ]

( Yeah. )

[ Both clearly not really believing that's true but also willing to accept it at face value if it's what Joshua wants. ]

( Shit I miss movies. They have movies where you're from? )

[ Because chilling them both out with the escapism of a film right now would be an ideal way to handle this. Alas. ]

[whereabout]

[ It's about the best response he can hope for - not being called on it, since there's no way he can hope for someone with a direct line to his brain to actually buy that line.

So, hey, he'll take it. ]

( We don't. What are movies? )

[ Aside from a thing someone clearly ought to show him once they get back to the station, anyway. ]

[raw]

( So you know how it's possible to record stuff and play it back. Video? )

[ He's really not sure what level of technological incompetence he's dealing with here. ]

( So films are like, people get dressed up and they get props and they perform, I don't know, anything. Any story. Try to make it look as real as possible. Then they record it, and other people can watch. Just two hours, feeling immersed in someone else's imagination - you know it's not real, but your brain is tricked. )

[ Actually, it makes him wonder if it would be possible to watch a movie using only the hive connection and a memory. Though he isn't sure his memory of films is that good. ]

[whereabout]

( I...okay, I get that in theory. )

[ Photography is widespread. Computers...are not, and are still a very new technology that hasn't caught on outside of the tech hotbeds.

Video, somehow, is not a thing yet, but working for the big bads has at least exposed Joshua to enough weird and obscure tech that he can wrap his mind around the idea. ]

( So...like reading a book, but you watch it? )

[raw]

( Exactly. They're usually shorter, about two hours — though I guess that depends how fast you can read. )

[ He's pleased that the concept has caught without him having to like, project a cinematic experience directly into his broodmate's brain. ]

( Sometimes, when I don't want to think about anything, I just put on my favorite movie. )

[whereabout]

( I read a lot. I can get that. )

[raw]

( If we ever get off this backwater planet, I'll try and find you one to watch.
Might be weird alien shit though. )

[whereabout]

( Everything else is weird. Why not that, too? )

[raw]

( True that.

So. Did you know the girl? )

[ The one who died, who got Bakugo so riled up. ]

[whereabout]

( I didn't. It...feels like I did, but I didn't. )

[ That, he assumes, is Bakugo's thoughts rubbing up against his. ]

[raw]

( Same. Bakugo... he's kind of loud. )

[whereabout]

( Vicious understatement. )

[raw]

( I was worried he'd do something stupid — actually, I'm still kind of worried. I guess working as a team is as much about keeping him in check as anything else. )

[whereabout]

( Maybe one of us will rub off on him. )

[ Although as soon as he thinks it, it occurs to him that with sharing brainspace, that could be a bit more literal than he'd been intending, and now he's creeped himself out a little. Whoops. ]

[raw]

[ Elliot's mind goes to a similar place and he sort of winces mentally. ]

( That's the goal, right. We all become... well, a "we". )

[ Like Elliot doesn't have enough people in his head. ]

[whereabout]

[ It's not a comfortable thought. ]

( Not sure what all of you did to deserve getting stuck with me, but sorry about that. )

[ It sounds like it could be a joke. In a purely verbal conversation, he'd probably play it off that way and it'd be easier to keep things from getting awkward. But there's a lot more sincerity to it than that. ]

[raw]

[ A soft chuckle down the telepathic line, even though he knows it's not a joke. ]

Nah, man, you're cool. But for what it's worth, same.

[ We allll be fucked up in this brood, son. ]

[whereabout]

( Thanks. )

[ "Thanks for also being fucked up" is - not quite the implication, but he's used to feeling like a complete trainwreck of a person compared to all the nice normal well-adjusted people around him.

Not feeling like such a freak of nature is...kind of nice. ]

[raw]

[ Elliot doesn't even say "no problem" just sends a corresponding sort of feeling. And maybe he lets the connection stay a while longer, companionable without being intrusive, but it's the mindlink equivalent of sitting in silence. It helps him practice his shielding, and... yeah, it's sort of nice. But he doesn't say anything else. ]